i had a dream.

a desert without sand.

a reverie, a mirage.

BRIGHT.

but my eyes were hazy.

i saw across an expanse wide and as far as my eyes could see.

then it ended in the horizon where mountains rolled across the sky.

i hummed a tune.

a beautiful tune.

in the desert i spun around humming in my mind.

arms wide open.

the white of my dress floating all around me.

i leaned my head back and gazed at the clear sky.

i am looking forward to many things.

brighter eyes towards the future.

a more hopeful outlook on things that don't turn out right.

also i want to be more understanding of things i can't comprehend, no matter how twisted my mind becomes trying to figure it out.

i also want to be a better person.

and i owe it to myself to create.

create something beautiful.

something to be proud of.

and i owe it to myself to grow in myself.

confidence is hiding in this next year.

it is hidden in the smallest places.

in the people i meet and the teachers who teach me.

in the opportunities that invite me.

in the lonely nights of friends and family.

in my hands, it hides.

i will find it, i must find it.

and tame it, hold it, and keep it close.

love also.

unceasingly, un-apologetically, fiercely.

love with purpose and with power.

that all things i do can create waves.

waves to wash over people.

to heal and to mend.

to provide and to comfort.

i want to be a better me.

for me.

last year i grew a lot.

maybe a few half millimeters.