i wish i was away from here. far. somewhere i can hear just my thoughts. sort my feelings out. which one goes where. which one is true. which one is a lie.
my fingers are numb. they don't want to do a thing. yet, the world goes on. keeps spinning by. i'm just a single soul. a single mind. no one cares. it's me and the world. and every one else.
a war. a war that a man must fight. alone.
i wish i could do the thing i love. art. creativity. like...bach. crazy but beautiful. a master. piece. then maybe my feelings wouldn't be so ...explosive.
the heart. it wants what it cannot have. having what it does not want. needing something that is out of reach. with no need at all it cannot survive.
they say the weak will not survive. the bold at heart will inherit the earth. so let me die off. my spieces. for we are troublesome to the whole. an audience who does not feel entertained, yet offended.
i speak. speaking in riddles that even i cannot understand. my heart is. it is ragged, spiked with thorns. my head, drooped like a torn ligament. i have so much to offer beyond my selfishness. but no one will see it. no one.
the eyes must be open for me to let them see. but what's on the inside is concealed. so deeply that, even i cannot see it. even i cannot understand. a glossy overtake. a heavy breathing.
so help me God.